Have you ever quit a job you stayed at for your entire career? Isn’t it so scary? Last week was my last day at a company I’ve worked at for 7 years. I started when I was 20 and grew up there. And yes, I’ve been there my entire career. Before that I was working at some government departments in a student co-op.
It was the longest time I’ve stayed at one company. Unfortunately, it was one of the first companies I worked for. I had no experience to gain any time during these 7 years, except for in digital marketing. Do you ever feel that frustration as though this job might be holding you down? It’s how I felt for 4 years straight.
All that to say, I’m overflowing with joy to be leaving. I’m looking forward to this change of scenery more than ever after 7 years.
It was like leaving my family for the first time. Feelings were up and down over the past few days, but none in such a sense that made me regret leaving.
The moment I received the opportunity to jump ship, I was ecstatic. When people began finding out, the inevitable happened. People treated me kind of the way you’d treat an old phone once you’ve cracked the screen a bit. I was no longer someone to chat with, unless it was about work. I was subtly reminded that those work relationships were out of pure necessity, and no more than that.
On the first day after I left, I finally felt the joy I anticipated. I didn’t want to set foot in there for another single day.
Leaving the people behind
I thought a few of my coworkers hated my guts. Others had a mutual understanding that we had fallen out of a friendship from. We still carried on with our jobs in a professional manner. You know the feeling you get when you’re self-conscious about how people perceive you? That was 1,000% me for the last 2 weeks I was there.
Do you ever feel the need to prove yourself to others? At that job it was always a matter of proving myself. I’ve made a lot of work related mistakes in the past. Thus I’ve learned a lot about accountability. But I can’t help shake the feeling that I’m still not good enough. The way I was treated there didn’t make me feel like I was improving. No recognition, no appreciation, and no showing any form of gratitude.
Buuuut I have to say, I wasn’t exactly the most liked employee in my team. I disturbed the peace, came up with new ideas that people would get annoyed at because “we can’t do that.” “That’s not how the business works”. I spoke up for myself when I was being abused and when my mental health was at an all-time low.
Yeah, it makes sense to speak up when that kind of shit happens. It does, but when you work side by side with a colleague for long enough? The things you go through together creates such an uncomfortable awkwardness. You know the frustration you get with family sometimes? Like you know how they are, and it bugs you but not enough because they’re family? It’s like that but with coworkers and much worse. Because you have to be professional and polite. You have to put up with it. And you care so much because you have to sit next to them every damn day of your life! The only thing you can do is avoid talking to each other for the rest of your time spent in proximity.
Working at this place was special, in good and bad ways. I’m not sure what it’s like with other companies. But never did I realize until now how much this one was good at enticing people who were lazy to stay at their jobs there. This one encouraged employees to innovate and hit numbers that rise every year. They should have tried to reel in more ambitious employees. I don’t believe that the business line that I worked in will thrive. They keep hiring more people who are grabbing a cushy job to sit on and wait until they retire.
Leaving the business behind
You’d guess by now that the business itself was not the best one to work for. Other people have written things I wouldn’t dare write about this company. Nasty truths and secrets about the company that made me thank myself yet again for leaving.
I have to give it to them though, I was drinking that company Kool-aid at one point as well. I was drinking it for a solid 7 years before I grew the balls to get away from it. Right now I’m 27, and this place was the first job I got coming out of school.
Do you ever feel an unhealthy attachment to that safety net? Benefits such as pension, vacation, health insurance are such a suck for a lot of people. But I didn’t want to be in there with the masses. It could be that I have an urge to prove myself yet again.
My first deep dive is coming up!
I started at this job while I was a student. Being young and still being hand-held, not yet knowing full responsibility, I haven’t dove into my career, and for 7 years I strolled into my job without a care.
The new work I’ll be starting is going to be very different in this sense. My new boss is never present, but has high expectations. It’s a double-doozy. I’m going to get dropped into the deep end!
All that to say, I’m thankful for the opportunity presented, and all the people who were able to help me make this happen. Thank you all – you know who you are. Here’s to stepping through a door into a new chapter of my life. It’s one that will propel my career forward and onto more challenging and exciting things!